18+ Only. Play Responsibly.
The fastest animal on Earth had been priced at €4.80 and was waiting for a golden paw to collect it.
The elephant beside it was still just an elephant.
Golden paw on reel one.
MONEY cheetah on reel two.
€1.80.
x3 WILD on reel three.
Another MONEY cheetah on reel four.
€3.00.
x2 WILD on reel five.
Everything connected.
The paw collected €4.80.
The WILDs multiplied each other.
Three times two.
Six.
€28.80.
Above the reels, an actual cheetah was trotting through the long yellow grass.
It had legs.
It was using them.
Cheetah Wild had apparently divided the species into two groups.
One was allowed to run across Africa.
The other had to stand inside a gold frame with money printed over its face until a paw arrived from the left.
The elephant remained an elephant throughout.
That had been the strangest spin of the session.
It had also been the useful one.
I had started much earlier with €100.00 and €0.60 per spin.
The savannah was almost suspiciously calm.
Golden grass.
Orange trees.
Blue sky.
Elephants in green circles.
Rhinos in bronze.
Zebras in blue.
Gazelles in purple.
Every so often, a giant baobab SCATTER appeared with enough violet light around it to suggest the tree had discovered electricity.
Letters and numbers filled whatever space the animals did not want.
Q.
K.
J.
For the opening stretch, nothing behaved as though the food chain had been replaced by bookkeeping.
A zebra connection returned €1.20.
Three rhinos found each other for €1.50.
An elephant route gave me €1.80.
The cheetah above the reels continued pacing.
Then the first MONEY cheetah appeared below.
€1.50 written across it.
No Collect paw.
Spin over.
Gone.
A few rounds later another arrived.
€0.75.
Again no paw.
Gone.
This at least restored some dignity to the species.
The priced cheetahs were still very good at escaping.
At €94.60, the golden paw finally showed up at the same time.
Collect on reel one.
MONEY cheetah beside it.
A route formed.
€1.80 collected.
The fastest animal in the world had finally been captured by a paw print for slightly more than two bets.
Above the grid, his free-range cousin crossed the grass again.
He appeared to be having the better afternoon.
I stayed at €0.60.
A x2 WILD landed later on reel three.
Enough zebra symbols connected through it.
€3.60.
Then two empty spins.
A gazelle arrived on the far right with no useful company.
The balance reached €92.20.
Two baobab SCATTERS landed on the next spin.
One on reel two.
One on reel four.
Both glowing purple.
No third.
Apparently baobabs migrated in pairs.
The savannah moved on.
Another Collect paw arrived shortly afterwards.
No MONEY symbols.
Just a large golden paw sitting on the first reel with nobody to collect.
The cheetah overhead kept walking.
One version of the species could cross the entire top of the screen.
The other could not coordinate a meeting with a stationary paw.
At €88.60, I switched on the ANTE BET.
The €0.60 spin became €1.50.
Almost immediately, more MONEY cheetahs began showing up.
And the numbers on them started looking more interesting.
€3.00.
No paw.
Later, €1.50.
No paw.
Then €4.50.
Still no paw.
The savannah had taken the fastest land animal and given it impeccable appointment-avoidance skills.
When the Collect finally connected at €84.10, the route looked promising.
Paw on reel one.
MONEY on reel two.
WILD on reel three.
Another MONEY farther across.
No multiplier on that WILD.
€4.20.
The ANTE reclaimed most of it almost immediately.
A zebra connection paid €2.40.
Another spin disappeared.
Then another.
The balance slid through €82.00.
€79.00.
The actual cheetah above the reels continued making his patrol without contributing €1.50 each time he moved.
Two SCATTER baobabs appeared again.
Reels one and five this time.
Nothing in the middle.
The trees had changed seats but maintained the same social policy.
No Free Spins.
The cheetahs and the paw were already producing enough wildlife administration below.
A €6.00 MONEY cheetah landed on reel four.
No Collect.
Next spin:
golden paw on reel one.
No MONEY cheetah anywhere.
Cheetah arrived.
Paw stayed home.
Paw arrived.
The cheetah had already left the savannah with its price tag.
At €75.40, they nearly managed it.
Paw on reel one.
MONEY cheetah on reel two.
x3 WILD on reel three.
Then reel four supplied a J.
The whole route died there.
The x3 remained glowing.
The cheetah remained priced.
The paw remained ready.
One decorative letter had blocked the most organised hunt of the afternoon.
€73.90.
Next ANTE spin:
nothing.
€72.40.
Then the savannah finally aligned its paperwork.
Golden paw.
€1.80 cheetah.
x3 WILD.
€3.00 cheetah.
x2 WILD.
€4.80 collected.
x6 applied.
€28.80.
The whole route lit up.
The cheetahs did not move.
Not one step.
The most important thing either of them had done all afternoon was remain perfectly stationary between multiplication.
Balance:
€101.20.
An elephant appeared above one of the MONEY symbols.
Still an elephant.
Zebra:
still zebra.
Rhino:
rhino.
Gazelle:
gazelle.
Only the cheetah had been chosen by nature to become a decimal.
I left the ANTE on for four more spins.
The first returned nothing.
A MONEY cheetah appeared on the second without a paw.
The third found a small ordinary line.
The fourth landed another Collect with nobody useful waiting for it.
€96.70.
That was enough expensive wildlife.
ANTE off.
Back to €0.60.
A x2 WILD helped a zebra route.
€2.40.
€98.50.
A couple of spins later, elephants returned €1.80.
€99.10.
A gazelle connection nudged it to €99.70.
Then one empty spin.
A rhino brought it back close again.
The game had apparently finished hunting jackpots and was now interested in keeping my balance within one euro of where it started.
I gave it three more.
First:
MONEY cheetah on reel three.
€0.75.
No paw.
Gone.
Second:
golden Collect paw.
No MONEY.
The empty appointment had been rescheduled.
Third:
x2 WILD on reel three with enough elephants around it to return €1.90.
Balance:
€99.80.
Twenty cents down.
No Free Spins.
No bought feature.
No huge collapse.
No grand comeback.
Almost an entire session devoted to elephants remaining elephants while cheetahs repeatedly acquired monetary values and failed to meet a golden paw.
One perfect spin had rescued the whole thing.
€4.80 of motionless cats.
Two multiplying WILDs.
€28.80.
That was enough.
I stopped.
The final reels held a gazelle.
A zebra.
Some letters.
No Collect paw.
No MONEY cheetah waiting to be priced.
Above them, the real cheetah was still crossing the grass.
Everything underneath had spent the session collecting it, valuing it, multiplying it or missing it.
The only cheetah with any sense had kept moving.
Mighty Hot Amazonia made me feel like a spreadsheet with feelings.