18+ Only. Play Responsibly.
Hades had installed three skulls above a nine-square casino even though Cerberus already contained exactly three heads.
Purple.
Red.
Green.
Boost.
Expand.
Multiplier.
Cerberus appeared lower down as a paying symbol with all three faces attached to one dog.
The casino equipment had somehow achieved the same head count without needing a body.
I started at €260.
Stake €1.50.
Hot Bet stayed off.
The reels themselves were tiny.
Three across.
Three down.
Nine squares surrounded by stone columns, skulls and enough fire to make the underworld seem unusually concerned with ambient lighting.
Hades stood to the right holding a trident.
He was smiling.
That seemed unnecessary.
He already owned the dead.
The first few spins concentrated on card suits, dice, ruby rings and Cerberus.
A line of hearts paid €1.50.
The dice later returned €3.
Then an Instant Prize chip landed.
Green rim.
4x.
No Collect beside it.
The chip disappeared when the spin ended, but something moved above the reels.
Green light climbed into the Multiplier skull.
Its eyes brightened slightly.
Hades had found a way to feed casino chips to skeletal machinery.
Another few spins passed.
A red Instant Prize appeared.
Then Hades himself landed as the Collect symbol in the middle reel with another prize chip in view.
The Collect pulled the value across.
€3.
The skulls above reacted again.
Red gained more fire.
Green gained some.
Purple barely moved.
The base game was not paying much, but the ceiling was gradually waking up.
That was enough to keep the stake where it was.
The next useful event brought Cerberus across the first two reels without finishing the line.
Three heads.
Zero euros.
The dog looked perfectly comfortable with this.
Maybe in Hades a losing combination still gets fed.
A ruby skull ring did better shortly afterward.
€1.50.
Then another Instant Prize fed the red skull.
Expand was now visibly hotter than the others.
The eyes glowed.
Fire moved around the rim.
The green Multiplier skull had also accumulated enough power to look interested.
Purple Boost remained a much more relaxed corpse.
Eighteen spins passed that way.
€27 spent.
€9 returned.
Balance:
€242.
The underworld had taken €18 and used part of the evening to charge two decorative skulls.
Reasonable by underworld standards.
Spin nineteen cost another €1.50.
The first reel stopped on a green Instant Prize chip.
3x.
The middle reel stopped on Hades.
Collect.
The third reel landed another Instant Prize.
2x.
Everything held.
Hades reached across the reels.
The values came to him.
3x plus 2x.
5x.
€7.50.
The balance moved to €248.
Then the ceiling caught fire.
Not all of it.
Red first.
Expand.
The skull lit hard enough to throw red across the stone.
Green followed.
Multiplier.
Two enhancer skulls awake together.
Purple Boost stayed where it was, apparently deciding that increasing values directly would be excessive when Hell could instead become physically larger and mathematically unstable.
The Hot Roller Bonus opened.
Three respins appeared.
The original 3×3 grid stretched.
Another row arrived.
Then another.
Nine positions became fifteen.
Hades had enlarged Hell.
There had been no shortage of columns.
No shortage of flames.
No shortage of skull decorations.
What the underworld had apparently lacked was six additional places to put casino chips.
The first respin began on the expanded field.
A small Instant Prize landed.
2x.
Locked.
Three respins again.
Another prize landed higher up.
4x.
Reset.
The expanded section had already found occupants.
Then green moved.
A multiplier dropped into one of the empty cells.
x2.
It stayed.
No prize on it yet.
Just a green mathematical threat sitting inside a square that had not existed several seconds earlier.
Three respins.
Nothing.
Two.
A new chip landed elsewhere.
Reset to three.
The feature was developing the rhythm of somebody repeatedly refusing to leave the casino because one more dead man had put a chip on the table.
Then a 6x Instant Prize dropped.
Same cell as the x2.
The multiplier was consumed.
6x became 12x.
The newly created section of Hell had now produced twelve times the stake from one position.
Expand had built the room.
Multiplier had immediately found something dangerous to do with it.
Hades stayed beside the reels with the same grin.
He had delegated this part to skulls.
Another respin.
A 1x prize.
Reset.
Then 3x.
Reset again.
The screen was beginning to fill with coloured chips.
Green.
Red.
Purple.
Values printed in the middle.
The original nine-square casino was now almost difficult to remember.
Fifteen cells made the whole structure look much more appropriate for a ruler who had access to an entire underworld.
The green skull acted again.
Another multiplier appeared.
x3.
Different position.
It locked.
I watched that square.
Nothing landed there on the next respin.
Another chip arrived elsewhere instead.
2x.
Counter back to three.
Still no prize on x3.
One empty respin.
Two remaining.
Then a 5x chip fell directly onto it.
The cell flashed.
5x became 15x.
Red had annexed six squares.
Green had now turned two of them into arithmetic traps.
Hades had yet to move.
It was becoming clear why he carried a trident.
His hands were free.
The skulls were doing the casino work.
The feature continued.
A few smaller Instant Prizes landed.
Nothing huge.
No Mega.
No Major.
No Minor.
No jackpot skull suddenly bursting into flame.
The 12x and 15x results remained the two biggest pieces.
Several smaller values around them kept buying the bonus more time.
Three respins.
A 2x.
Three again.
Nothing.
Two.
A 1x.
Back to three.
Hell was surviving through tiny casino chips.
Eventually the stream stopped.
First empty respin.
Two remaining.
Nothing.
One.
The 5×3 field held its accumulated chips.
Hades watched.
Cerberus was nowhere on the bonus grid, presumably because three-headed dogs had not been approved for Instant Prize duty.
Final respin.
Empty.
The counter reached zero.
The bonus total settled at 48x.
At €1.50:
€72.
My balance went to €320.
I had started with €260.
The expanded rows disappeared.
The extra six positions folded away.
Hell went back to nine squares.
That seemed unnecessarily modest now.
Three reels.
Three rows.
The red skull dimmed.
Green dimmed.
Purple had never properly joined the evening.
Hades remained beside the reels.
I could have stopped there.
Instead I paid for one more spin.
€1.50.
The reels turned.
First reel: card suit.
Third reel: ruby ring.
Middle reel:
Hades.
Collect.
No Instant Prize on either side.
Nothing to gather.
Nothing to boost.
Nothing to multiply.
No bonus to expand.
The ruler of the underworld had finally arrived personally to collect.
There was nothing left.
Balance:
€318.50.
I left him standing there.
Wheel of Happiness doesn’t use RNG. It uses vengeance.